I still remember the exact moment I realized something was very wrong.
And you're finally ready to stop pretending it fits.
You're respected. Accomplished. Exhausted.
And staring down a truth you can't unsee.
At 2am, when everyone's asleep and the performance finally stops, do you lie there wondering whose life you're actually living?
Do you fear that if you admit the truth - that the life you've built doesn't fit anymore - you'll lose everything you've worked for?
Are you starting to realize that the woman everyone depends on isn't actually who you are... and you're not sure you remember who that woman even is?
You're not ungrateful. You're not being dramatic.You're waking up to the truth that external success and internal authenticity aren't the same thing. And now that you've seen it, you can't unsee it.
"[With Eboni L] I gained clarity, healing, direction, and a strong determination to move forward in living and fulfilling my purpose."
— Sandra Oliver | Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
I still remember the exact moment I realized something was very wrong.
I was Founder of a national Christian sorority. A sought-after speaker. Building a successful coaching business. Wife. Mother to two incredible sons. From the outside, I was the picture of a woman who "had it all."
But late one night, after another full day of serving everyone else's vision, I sat down to write. And the question that came out was: Do I even matter?
Not "do people need me" - I knew they did. Not "am I successful" - the resume proved that. The question was deeper, more terrifying: If I died tomorrow, would anyone remember me - or just the version of me they needed?
I had built a life that looked significant. But I was performing someone else's version of significance. And inside? I was disappearing.
So I made a choice. I stepped back from what looked good to find what was authentically me. I stopped performing long enough to remember.
That's when I learned what it really means to Un-Become.What I discovered in that season wasn't another strategy to manage my life better. It wasn't a new way to balance all the roles or be more efficient at performing.
It was permission to dismantle the entire performance.
See, we've been sold a lie - that if we just achieve enough, contribute enough, matter to enough people, we'll finally feel like we matter to ourselves. So we keep adding. More titles. More responsibilities. More proof that we're valuable.
But significance doesn't come from addition. It comes from subtraction.
It comes from peeling back every layer of who you've had to become - the perfectly polished professional, the endlessly capable leader, the woman who never lets anyone see her crack - until you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be.
That's the work of Un-Becoming. And it's the most significant work you'll ever do.
Because on the other side of it? You don't just find yourself again. You find the version of you that was always meant to lead - not from performance, but from authenticity. Not from proving, but from BEing.
And that woman? She's worth rediscovering.When you stop performing and start BEing, everything shifts.
The decisions you've been agonizing over for months? They become clear - because you're no longer weighing them against what everyone else needs from you.
The energy you've been pouring into maintaining the image? It returns - because you're no longer managing a version of yourself that was never meant to exist.
The leadership you've been forcing? It flows - because it's coming from who you actually BE, not who you thought you had to become.
The people you love? You're finally connected to them again - not performing the role of partner, mother, friend, but actually present for the first time in years.
You don't become less capable. You become exponentially more powerful.
Because you're finally leading from the woman you were created to be - the one who's been waiting underneath all those layers of expectation, performance, and proving.
That's when you stop building a life that looks impressive and start living a legacy that actually matters.
After years of performing, you reclaim your soul and become the leader you were created to BE."...if you have a space of knowing, but need clarity or strategy [Eboni] can take you there systematically, quick, and fast. No need for YEARS. Just a yes in your heart and willingness to go!"
— Bethany Gassan | Juneau, Alaska
Here's what I've learned: You can't build the life you want on top of the life you've been performing. You have to dismantle it first.
That's the path of Un-Becoming. And it happens in three movements:
Stripping away the layers that were never yours to carry.
Facing what's been buried beneath the performance.
Stepping fully into who you were always meant to BE.
This isn't about adding more to your life. It's about subtracting everything that was never supposed to be there in the first place.
It's not for the woman who wants another framework to manage her life better while keeping all the masks in place.
It's not for the woman who's still hoping she can perform her way to peace.
But if you're ready to stop pretending the life you've built is the one you actually want...
If you're ready to reclaim your soul and become the leader you were created to BE...
If you're finally ready to take the masks off and remember who's underneath...
I work with a limited number of clients at a time because this work requires my full presence. If you're problem-aware, solution-seeking, and ready to do the work of Un-Becoming, I want to hear from you.
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